


I Was An Island

by poollink



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Anachronisms, Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coffee, F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Gay, Gay Character, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nate is tired, Ray Palmer is a pure soul, Research, The Waverider (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Waverider library, restless nights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-10 22:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17434955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poollink/pseuds/poollink
Summary: A sleep-deprived historian and a scientist have some talking to do-It was intended to make up for time lost.Not to fall in love.





	I Was An Island

**Author's Note:**

  * For [This is for you](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=This+is+for+you).



> The first draft got deleted on me. This is the best I could provide in the meantime. It's alright, though! More better ones are yet to come.  
> P.S- if you see Nate's last name spelled 'Haywood' it's supposed to be 'Heywood'.  
> -poollink

It was currently, according to the hologram clock, 3:48 in the morning. The team on the Waverider was fast asleep. After a long day of fighting anachronisms, they deserved it. It was alright though. Sure, they would like a break or two once in a while. However, they knew what they were signing up for. Days on end of fighting and no breaks, having to save people even if it meant risking their own lives, but that was just the usual. The Legends had to do it. It was all in their nature now. 

Captain Sara Lance was sound asleep, comfy in her girlfriend's stolen sweatshirt. She fell asleep a little late for her liking, but would still get sleep nonetheless. Amaya Tiwe was sleeping like a bear. Maybe even literally. Mick Rory was on fire with his sleeping schedule, getting to bed early and waking up...Well, whenever he wanted. Ray was peacefully sleeping, possibly the latest one to go to bed. He and Nate stayed up for the last case they did. The anachronism was some sort of time-traveling cannibalistic Egyptian dictator. It was quite weird, but not the weirdest thing the legends have seen. Jefferson was asleep early, even for him. But he also deserved it. He needed more sleep knowing that he was a kid. Plus, the poor half of Firestorm had been repairing the Waverider all day. The other half of Firestorm, Professor Stein, was asleep by the time they got on board. It certainly was not easy being an old time-traveler.

Nate, no, Nate was wide awake. This case had been going on for three days and the team had worked on it whenever they could. That's why Nate had been up for 72 hours. He worked non-stop for 32, and did light research for the rest of the while. It was miraculous how he had managed that long, but somehow he did. For being awake that long, his steel powers didn't seem to work now. 

Nate told the team, the oh-so gullible team, that something with the anachronism had stopped his powers. Ray insisted on figuring out what was wrong. Nate refused in a non-friendly tone, and dismissed Ray out of the library. Nate knows he's okay on the battlefield, he is, don't get him wrong. But, his job wasn't initially to 'steel up', it was to be a historian. He was meant for research. 

And, he figured, research was what he was going to do. He was going to do it for humanity and for his team. Nate was going to do it for the ones he hated, the ones he loved, and anyone or anything he ever knew. This was his superpower. He was a superhero just like this. Besides, it was safer on the Waverider. Nate had a good point. He didn't want to fail, after all. For whatever reason, Nate Haywood believed he failed more people than he would like to admit. Apparently, he believed he had failed the team. Whatever he was on to now must have been from that chain of thought. We truly are only alive if we bleed. 

Hours and hours of research started getting to his eyes. He had been like this non-stop. 'For the team,' he told himself.  
Before he knew it, the arm holding his head up failed. His face full-forcefully smacked right on the desk. He jumped in surprise at the noise and sudden contact. An empty coffee cup- or two- fell off in the process, shattering in the process.

"Crap!" Nate whispered-yelled. The glass fell and broke right next to the opened history books. A paper fell with the cups, and Nate tried to catch it. Unfortunately, his arms pushed off more papers...And a cup of pencils and pens. 

Frustrated, he found himself dragging his arms across the desk, knocking off everything in the process. Other things such as more empty cups and a bottle of Advil fell and broke more. The noise made Nate even more mad. He was not in a good mood this night. What had coffee even done for him? All it did was make him more tired. Nate couldn't focus or breathe right. His arms would begin to steel up, but faded as soon as it started. There was no food in his system, but he didn't want to eat right now. His stomach and mind only craved to be awake. Nate's eyes glanced to the shattered cups and back to the door of the library.

'I need more coffee,' he said to himself. His hair was everywhere and his clothes were a mess. His sleep would be messed up for days now, all because of this god damn case. That's all it was. But Nate could make it more. As he was making his way towards the kitchen, his light-headedness caught up to him. He stumbled lightly, dragging his feet against the cold Waverider's floor. No, he was fine. 

"I believe it would be in your best interest to take a rest, Dr Heywood."

The mentioned Dr. Haywood sighed, of course the machine would be up. She never sleeps. Regardless, Nathan continued on his way- forgetting Gideon even spoke to him entirely. That was, until she reminded him of her presence. 

"If you do not head to sleep I have no choice but to alert Captain Lance immediately. You have an important day tomorrow."

Nathan groaned in response, "look robo-cop, Sara can't make me go to sleep and you know that. I'm close to cracking this thing. Honestly Gideon, I just need a little bit more time. And coffee."

The machine overhead buzzed in a very quiet tone, and from the kitchen doorway a faint hint of black coffee swam through. It fulfilled all of Nate's wishes. He rushed over, grabbed the mug and instantly put ungodly amounts of sugar into it. It was black with no cream, just how he liked it. 

He thought about his team, and how much he knew they needed his help. Nate was not going to disappoint. He didn't even know if he would allow himself to do so. Their captain counted on him. And so did Ray.

Ray.

Crap. Why did he bring up his name again? Was he that much in lo- in thought about the scientist that not even restless nights and endless amount of research could accompany him? What was up with Nate? He had so many questions about himself and not enough answers. He has so many questions about him. 

 

It went silent for a few seconds. There stood Nate stirring his coffee for a bit longer than intended. He wasn't in love, he couldn't be. In retrospect, he should thinking about the crazy, time travelling, Egyptian, cannibalistic dictator. Yeah, he could focus on that. At least he knew what that was. Not some crazy drugged love spell. 

"That your fifth cup tonight?" 

Shit.

Nathaniel rolled his eyes at the taller lad. He hasn't been the most polite person to Ray, and had been starting to feel bad. Ray didn't deserve that, he was just too much of a good person. Nate knew he was being a prick and he did want to apologize, but they were both busy lately. Ray out in the atom suit fighting and Nate in his  
messed up library. It was just work, work, and more work. But their friendship was still in-tact. Though, he eventually have to tell Ray about everything. He would have to say how Ray made him feel like ten million teddy bears, or how his smile always cheered him up and could melt even liquid hydrogen. And how he was good good and amazing for this cruel world(s). 

"Damn it Gideon, I told you not to wake anyone up!" 

"Correction Dr. Heywood, you told me not to wake up Captain Lance." 

Nate groaned at the machine's comment, grabbed his coffee, and left the kitchen without making eye contact. If he fell into Ray's warm eyes, he might've passed out right then and there. Ray was so nice to be around. It was sort of like a bed in the middle of a flower field. Without the pollen. 

"Nate?" Ray called out, following the steel man into the library. Ray might have been genuinely concerned but nothing would make him more concerned than the library's condition. That's why as soon as the historian entered the room, the doors closed behind him. Admittedly, Nate felt like a wrench plunged into his heart. But he had to do this. As soon as the door closed in Ray's face, it locked itself, leaving only Nate to his own senses. 

Ray pleaded with his love int- best friend, "Nate! Come on, man. Let me in." 

"Go away Ray." He shouted.

Yet, little did Nate know, Ray was not going to leave him alone. Ray knew he was not going to leave little-ol' sleep deprived Nate alone. Not only was Ray good person, Ray was a concerned person as well. He rarely saw his best friend like this, and it definitely didn't spread onto other days. This was a team effort between everyone and all. When one man, or women, was down, it affected the team drastically. They were all fighters, each and all so brave- so selfless. They couldn't do this by themselves anymore. The Legends are good on their own, but power is in unity.

Ray knocked on the door, not yet ready to ask Gideon to open it. He knew she would upon request, but didn't want to break Nate's barrier.Between both of them was a mutual respect, even if one of them wanted to be alone.

Except, Nate had been alone for three days. Nate had talked small talk with people. Like, Mick mentioned something about beer to him, Sara asked him if he was okay, and Ray worked with him a bit. Surely there were limits. And Nate had crossed them. Ray, like any good best friend, had to check up on him. 

Gideon interrupted before Ray could speak anymore, "would you like me to open the door?" She questioned. Ray shook his head at himself, disappointed for having to do so. H

"Please, Gideon," Ray agreed, looking down at the ground as the door opened. In the library, Ray's eyes bestowed himself upon the mess. Shattered cups, the strong scent of coffee, papers scattered, and the history books everywhere. Literally, they were covering some tiles on the ground. Ray looked around in trouble. It was heart breaking to see his favorite per- best friend like this. 

His brown eyes fell on Nate. More worry filled him to the brim, and he ran to Nate like an eagle in the air. His eyes were gloomy and bags under his eyes only darkened by the second. He looked like a wreck.

Ray mumbled Nate's name. It was like the echoes of a hollow glass with cracks. Like a stormy night's light wind. It was full of a tearing heart, an empty word yet, not. And tired Nate shifted in his spot. It was depressing. Agonizing, even, to see his best friend look at him with such a sadness. He didn't want to let down the team instead, he let down Ray. 

"Nate...When did you last sleep?" He stopped to look at Nate, "have you been sleeping?" It was heart wrenching to both of them.

Reminding them of her presense, Gideon overheard. "Dr. Heywood hasn't slept in 75 hours,"

Nate dismissed her, but Ray didn't. "Thank you Gideon, could we have some privacy?"

"Of course." With that, the AI buzzed off. It left just the two of them in the room, and Nate's face went red. The room filled suddenly with unrequited awkwardness. Nate had been alone with Ray before on plenty of occasions, why were the past few times seemingly harder on himself. Nate had to come to terms with himself.

Maybe he really is in love.

With every step Ray took towards him, Nate stepped back. He couldn't look at Ray without feeling something those past few times, and now he knew why. "You haven't been sleeping? Do you have anything other than coffee in your system?"

Nate turned around with more force than he should've. He got light headed but still managed to spit out something petty. "Phft, why would you care."

Ray gave Nate an offended look and knew it would've broken Nate given he turned around. Ray quietly began taking short steps forwards. "Nate...Of course I care.. You're my best friend, man."

When he was just close enough, Ray spun the other lightly and pulled him into a big hug. Ray's forehead rested on Nate's shoulder, his arms wrapping around Nate's waist "Just...Please tell me what's wrong?" 

Nate practically fell into his arms, he felt like chocolate being melted by Ray's warm embrace. Coffee couldn't even begin to compare. The hug warmed his insides. For a split second, it seemed, Nate forgot about all his problems. He wanted to stay like that forever; to pass out on Ray and sleep for days. But then, his problems came back. A frisbee of sorts. It ingrained itself in his mind and it forcefully pushed him away from the comfort. "What's wrong? What's wrong is that I can't figure out this god damn anachronism, I disappointed you, I can't sleep, I feel like crap whenever I eat, and..I...and.."

Ray cut in, "hey, hey, it's okay...Shh...I'm not disappointed. If anything, I'm glad you're working hard! Just...You need a break too...even with superpowers, you're human. We all are. Bro, you're a big part of this team, and I can't stand to see you like this."

Once again, Nate melted. Almost instantly, in fact. Nate pulled him in, initiating the hug. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever. Nate's arms around Ray's neck and his head on his chest. He could feel Ray's breathing, but hoped Ray didn't feel his heart beating so fast. Was it the coffee? Sleep deprivation? Maybe. But Nate knew an imperative part of it was him in love with Ray. With all his powers pathing to his courage, he breathed in. Only pulling slightly away, he looked at Ray. His warm, brown eyes, almost stopped him. Nate wished he could remain like this forever ince again, but he had to make the first move. "Could you help me with another problem?"

Ray tilted his head in confusion.In a split second, Nate kissed him. Just like fireworks. Their kiss sparked so many feelings. Nate's arms snaked back to the Atom's neck and he nearly squealed when Ray kissed back twice as fast. Like two puzzle pieces, they moved in sync. Perfect harmony, their bodies fitting nearly just as amazing as the kiss. Nate didn't even think about the negatives, he only thought about right now. It seemed Ray did too- thank god. Ray broke the kiss for air and started chuckling.

"Your steel powers?" He asked, jokingly.

Nate laughed and looked down at his shoes, "no." His voice was light and smooth.

"Oh?" He paused, smiling in pretend-thought before kissing Nate again. "Then what is it?"

"I'm in love with you..." Finally.

They both laughed, Nate lighter than Ray's. "I don't think that's a problem, Nate."

They paused form the kissing, just for them to keep giggling again. "I'm in love with you too."


End file.
